The Rice Purity Test is one of the most popular things couples take together, often early in a relationship, sometimes years in, occasionally as a way to revisit conversations they have never quite had. It makes sense: the test covers territory (relationships, intimacy, substances, rule-breaking) that is deeply relevant to how two people understand each other.
But what does it actually mean if your scores are very different? And how do you use the results in a way that brings you closer rather than creating friction?
Why Couples Take It Together
The honest answer is curiosity. When you are in a relationship, you want to understand who your partner was before you, what they have experienced, what shaped them, and what their history looks like. The Rice Purity Test offers a structured, low-pressure format to surface some of those conversations without it feeling like an interrogation.
It is also, frankly, fun. Comparing scores with a partner is a natural icebreaker that can lead to hours of genuinely interesting conversation.
What Does a Score Gap Mean?
Say one partner scores 78 and the other scores 42. Is that a problem?
Not inherently. A score gap reflects different histories, not different values or compatibility. Someone with a lower score is not more experienced in the ways that typically matter in a relationship; they simply checked more boxes on a specific 100-item list.
Here is a more useful way to think about score gaps:
- A gap of 10–20 points is extremely common and rarely meaningful.
- A gap of 20–40 points may prompt some interesting conversations, but most couples in this range have no significant issues.
- A gap of 40+ points sometimes surfaces differences in life experience or values worth discussing openly, not because the gap itself is a problem, but because the conversations it starts can be genuinely valuable.
What matters more than the gap itself is how both partners respond to it. Curiosity beats judgment every time.
Questions Worth Asking After Comparing Scores
Rather than going question-by-question (which can feel intrusive), consider using your score comparison to explore broader themes:
- “Was there a section of the test where you felt like your number surprised you?”
- “Is there anything you checked that you look back on differently now?”
- “Is there anything you did not check that you are glad about?”
These conversations are almost always more interesting than the numbers themselves.
A Note on Honesty
Some people answer the test differently when taking it with a partner versus alone. They might under-check boxes they are self-conscious about, or over-check to seem more experienced. Neither approach is useful. The test is only as meaningful as your answers are honest, and in a relationship context, honest answers are the whole point.
If you are not ready to share certain things with your partner, you do not have to. But if you do take it together, take it honestly.
Does Taking the Rice Purity Test Together Strengthen a Relationship?
For many couples, the most valuable part of the Rice Purity Test is not the final number. It is the conversation that happens afterward. The test naturally opens the door to topics people often avoid early in relationships: boundaries, past experiences, regrets, personal growth, and expectations.
In healthy relationships, these conversations can strengthen emotional intimacy. Learning that your partner has lived a very different life from you does not automatically create distance. In many cases, it creates empathy. You begin to understand not just what they have done, but how those experiences shaped their perspective.
That said, the test works best when both people approach it with maturity. If one partner uses the results to shame, compare, or judge the other, the experience quickly becomes unhealthy. A lower score does not make someone “better,” “worse,” “more loyal,” or “less relationship material.” It simply reflects a different life path.
The couples who benefit most from taking the test together are usually the ones who:
- Stay curious instead of defensive
- Respect each other’s boundaries
- Avoid pressuring each other for details
- Focus on understanding rather than comparison
- Treat the test as a conversation starter, not a compatibility exam
In other words, the test itself is neutral. The relationship dynamic around it is what determines whether the experience feels bonding or uncomfortable.
When Score Differences Might Reveal Bigger Compatibility Questions
Most score differences are harmless, but occasionally they highlight deeper lifestyle or value differences that deserve honest discussion.
For example:
- One partner may view partying, hookups, or experimentation casually, while the other sees them as emotionally significant.
- One person may have a highly adventurous past, while the other values caution and structure.
- One partner may still want experiences they have not had yet, while the other feels finished with that stage of life.
None of these automatically means a relationship will fail. However, they can reveal mismatched expectations about trust, commitment, communication, or future goals.
This is why the Rice Purity Test can sometimes become unexpectedly emotional for couples. It is not really about the checklist. It is about what the checklist represents.
If difficult feelings come up, the healthiest approach is open communication rather than defensiveness. Instead of focusing on “how many boxes” someone checked, focus on:
- What they learned from those experiences
- Whether their current values align with yours
- How they view relationships today
- What they want moving forward
Past experiences matter far less than present behavior and shared values. Many couples with dramatically different scores have deeply successful relationships because they communicate openly and respect each other fully.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal for couples to have very different Rice Purity Test scores?
Yes. Large score differences are extremely common and usually reflect different backgrounds, opportunities, social environments, or life stages rather than relationship incompatibility.
Does a lower Rice Purity Test score mean someone is more experienced?
Technically, it means they checked more items on the list. But “experience” is far more complex than a single score and does not automatically translate into emotional maturity or relationship skills.
Should couples share every answer on the test?
Not necessarily. Sharing scores can be fun, but nobody is obligated to reveal personal details they are uncomfortable discussing. Healthy boundaries still matter.
Can the Rice Purity Test cause relationship problems?
It can if partners become judgmental, insecure, or competitive about the results. The healthiest approach is treating the test as a conversation starter, not a measure of worth or compatibility.
What is considered a big Rice Purity Test score gap?
Most people consider a 30–40 point difference relatively large, but even that does not automatically indicate problems. The meaning depends entirely on the couple and their communication style.
Should couples take the Rice Purity Test early in a relationship?
It depends on comfort level. Some couples enjoy it as a playful bonding activity early on, while others prefer waiting until trust and communication are stronger.
Conclusion
The Rice Purity Test is popular among couples because it turns difficult conversations into approachable ones. The numbers themselves are rarely the important part. What matters is the honesty, curiosity, and communication that follow.
Different scores do not determine compatibility. What truly matters is whether two people can discuss their pasts without shame, judgment, or insecurity. In strong relationships, the test often becomes less about “purity” and more about understanding each other on a deeper level.
If you take it together, focus less on the gap and more on the conversation. That is where the real value is.